Socially Acceptable Grooming and Behavioral Practices for REAL Men

September 4, 2010 by · 2 Comments 

The women of CollegiateCamo have been talking, and in an effort to reclaim all that is man, we are going to be producing a multi-part blog for how to get back to the origin of man without stepping back too far in time. The damage must be undone somehow. This is a social commentary on the grooming habits of the current man – as written by a woman.

Prior to my parlay into the outdoors industry a few years ago, I noticed a shocking change in American men. A new aroma was rising in our men, and this one was unfamiliar and a little bit creepy, like the smell of musk mixed with the smell of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls. These observations were disturbing to say the least.

What happened to our men over the last decade? To examine the opposite gender, I had to first examine myself. I am not a girly-girl. I’m a pro-active, get things done, do this, do that, get business taken care of alpha-female. In clinical terms I am a highly-effective female. I like guns, fast cars, Chevy trucks, playing music and my most favorite and least favorite to admit — fruity rum. So, as societal standards go, I’m not your traditional female. I’d rather discuss the inner workings of a small block Chevy motor than what happened on the high-rated TV drama from last night.

So, now I examine the men. Their places are tidy, styled and painted. Their hair has more “product” than I will allow in mine in a week. Is that eyeliner (“guyliner”) I see on him? I think it’s that tattooed on eyeliner I keep hearing about. I’m going to call it perma-guyliner. I shake a man’s hand, it is softer than mine. I’m standing in line to get a burger and I overhear a man talk about his feelings. What? How did this happen? Where did all the real men go? When did they start having public therapy sessions?

Some men (and I use the term men loosely at times here) are waxed, plucked, shaved, styled, groomed into what is now being referred to as “manscaping.” I’m having a hard time believing that they are doing this on their own accord. I believe every disgruntled girlfriend or wife in America had a secret meeting with network executives for television shows and came to the consensus that men needed to be changed. They put their plan into place and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was put into production and when it premiered, I heard a caveman cry.

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